sometimes i feel like blogging is a thing of the past.
with instant social media, we want media to come to us -
not dig to find it.
but recently, i realized i think i want to blog again for me.
not because I really care if any one reads what I have to say.
but so I can look back on it and remember.
today i read a quote from jim elliot.
“Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God.” – Jim Elliot
and that's kind of where i am now.
i believe i am in the will of God for my life + my family's life right now.
it isn't in the hill tribes of northern thailand, nor is it leading others into an encounter with Jesus through the sound within me. it's not creating the coolest thing to draw people into the church's doors. it kind of looks like drawing candy cane castles on poster-board and figuring out how to avoid the massive pile of laundry that never ever seems to dwindle. writing customer service e-mails by morn and editing promo videos by night.
even in those moments, i want to be present, be 'all there', 'all in it' , because these babies i'm watching sleep as i type are growing. even though the days are so slow sometimes. they are going by fast. I don't have to pick up where I left off with my journey in God after they've graduated- or at least till they can all go to the bathroom by themselves and sleep in their own beds.
i just keep reminding myself. keep your zeal. because even though it doesn't look a certain way. it is still real. it is so much simpler than i've made it in the past, yet sustains complexity to search out.
so much has changed in my life in the course of one year. sometimes it feels like i'm running ahead with a message that people won't see the truth of until miles down the road. i don't know why God's scooped us up and whispered to our hearts. I don't know why we couldn't stay planted. but i feel like I have eyes to see and I see now that even in the midst of mom life, God is brewing something.
i've never seen the beauty of the christian community embrace across a city as effortlessly as i have as of late. I've never had so many people i can call upon as friends, despite my own efforts to keep people at a distance. i've never known so many strangers, people so different than me in so many ways, in almost a decade. and its beautiful. i've missed that.
i have always wanted to go to unreached places of the world. + here i am, already living here.
so, what do i do? stuck in a whirlwind of dishes, melting babies and attitude checks. I remain wholly there. wholly here. here in the will of God for us.
+ so i try /// here's my efforts.
to be continued...